Brunch is possibly my favourite ever mealtime. As much for the types of dishes usually served up (eggs, pancakes, lashings of crispy bacon) as for the time of day, day of the week and the whole laissez-faire feeling it invokes. Not sprightly enough for breakfast, but with too hearty an appetite to wait for lunch and best served up on a weekend accompanied by proper steaming coffee, freshly squeezed juice and the company of loved ones. It also reminds me of a place dear to my heart, New York City.

From my groaning stack of cook-books, my trusty Lazy Brunch contains some wonders and it is from Simon Rimmer’s New York smoked salmon hash (p.50) that I created this particular Saturday morning treat. The original recipe happens to be in a section named ‘treating your girlfriend’, which I’m all for, but I’m happy to take the reins on my version.

Serves 2 hungry/hungover brunchers

Ingredients:

• 2 medium-sized potatoes (~300g)
• 6 rashers of bacon
• 4 eggs
• 1 small red onion, chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, crushed (or granules if you can’t be bothered)
• 2 tsp paprika
• 2 tsp double-concentrate tomato puree
• chives (dried can substitute fresh, I’m not fussy)
• ground black pepper
• a splash of Worcester sauce

What you do is:

1.   Get the potatoes on the go. Don’t worry about peeling them – give them a good scrub and chop them into small chunks, about 2cm square cubes. Drop them into salted boiling water and simmer for about 12-15 minutes. Don’t over-do them – you’ll be frying them in a minute – you want the potato equivalent of al-dente, or they’ll fall apart in the hash pan.

2.   Once they’re on the boil, grill your bacon. Keep an eye on it, turning as you go. Don’t crisp it to a cinder – just grill until it starts to brown, usually around 6-8 minutes. Remove the bacon and carefully shred the rashers into small pieces – scissors work wonders here.

3.   Next get your eggs ready to go, via the Delia method. Put a wide, deep pan on the heat and fill up to about an inch with boiled water from the kettle. As soon you see the bubbles start to appear on the base of the pan, work quickly to drop your eggs into the water and set the timer for exactly 1 minute. When it beeps, turn the heat off immediately, leave them in the pan and set your timer for 8 minutes (10 if you like them well done)… leaving you to get on with the hash.

4.  Take your potatoes off the heat and drain into a colander.

5.  Splash some oil into a frying pan and heat for a minute, then add your onions and garlic and sweat them for 2-3 minutes.Turn up the heat and add in your potatoes, mixing them in with the tomato puree, paprika seasoning and chives, stirring them around every 30 seconds or so, allowing the potato bits to gently brown without burning.

6.  After 3 minutes or so add in your bacon and season with some black pepper, continuing to stir through the hash while it browns for a final couple of minutes.

7.  Divide your mixture between two plates (if all has gone to plan, just as your egg timer dings). Remove the eggs with a slotted metal spoon, topping each hash serving with two eggs, a grind of black pepper, a sprinkling of chives and some Worcester sauce.

Bonza.

This date hadn’t occurred to me until reading the wonderful Lucy Mangan in this week’s Stylist magazine, and though she decries the artform as not for her, even she manages to finish her column with a spontaneous burst of verse. Granted, she is a literary fireball, but in four short funny lines, she nailed a little ditty just like that:

“The boy stood on the burning deck,

His feet were full of blisters.

The flames came up and burned his pants

And now he wears his sister’s.”

Why not have a go today? You can pick anything – the most mundane subjects usually herald the funniest results – and pen a few lines. Share your efforts in the comments below.

I’ve recently rediscovered the sometimes therapeutic benefits of writing verse, which you can check out in the Poetry Please series.

*Image via addletters.com

“We’ve been trained to prefer being right to learning something,
to prefer passing the test to making a difference,
and most of all,
to prefer fitting in with the right people,
the people with the economic power.
Now it’s your turn to stand up and stand out.”

For more gems like this, pick up a copy of Seth‘s latest tome, The Icarus Deception, out now.

Whispers

Amongst good friends, when troubles brew,
Mind what you say, watch what you do.

Resist the need to analyse
The goings on in others’ lives
And make quite sure that what you see
Is not projected fallacy.

As even with the best intention,
Making thoughtful intervention
Could so easily misplace
What you perceive to be the case.

Unfounded whispers distance friends
And fractured words prove tough to mend.
Who said what to whom should just
Not be enough to earn your trust.

Let rumours be and if in doubt,
Leave those involved to work it out.

(December 2012)

Snapped in Shepherd’s Bush, West London. #Picfx

The Gift

I give you a house.
The choice is yours.
You can keep it clean and tidy
Or, not -
Living in perpetual mess and disorder.

I give you a town.
The choice is yours.
The townsfolk could be happy
In well-built houses with good jobs for all.
Or not.
Children could roam the streets,
Wild and hungry,
While disease runs rampant and depression spreads.

I give you a country.
The choice is yours.
Rule it well,
Gain power, money,
Balance your cultural melting pot with enviable peace,
Or – don’t.
Watch your nation divide into a bloody civil war.

I give you the world.
The choice is yours.
To live harmoniously,
Respecting your own kind,
Caring for the places you inhabit -
Or not.
Destroy it, war with your own people.
Steal, Murder.
Live adulterous lives.
Neglect your world as it withers from the absence of
Morality, love or peace.

I give you life.
The choice is yours.

(June 2002*)

*Shortly after penning this, I came across the Biblical quote (Deuteronomy): ‘I have set before you life and death… therefore choose life.’ Never having been remotely religious, it was a bizarre coincidence. A more likely inspiration was watching a few too many war reports on the 10 o’clock News.

Friendship

Friends are warm comfort after a shock,
Friends are the key that fits in the lock.
Friends are fresh rains coming after a drought,
Friends are the whisper instead of the shout.

Friends are oases amidst desert sands,
Friends are the pathways to faraway lands.
Friends are the food source when famine is rife,
Friends are protection, deflecting the knife.

Friends are the hope when it seems there is none,
Friends are what make two far better than one.
Friends are the hand always helping you up,
Friends are the saucer supporting the cup.

Friends are the wishes that always come true,
Friends are the ones who accept you as you.
Friends are the sunshine in grey cloudy sky,
Friends are the twinkle in every eye.

Friends are what’s certain when all is in doubt,
Friends are one sure thing you can’t live without.

(June 2002)

Sent to me today by a colleague in a saw-this-and-thought-of-you moment. I love it. Penned by the very talented Grant Snider of Incidental Comics

My Jeans

They’re unique in the way they’re cut.
Their colour’s special too -
Paler fabric, darker seam,
From greeny-grey to blue.

Whether worn with ballet pumps or boots,
They look good every time.
But the thing that I like best of all
About them is: they’re mine.

(June 2002)